The Pen with a Purple Ink

Before the multicolor pens came out, there were only blue and black pens. But there was a unique pen, she is neither black, nor blue. And this is her story.

Once there was a lonely pen. Not because she is alone, but because no one picks her to be their pen. Her characteristic is so unique. She is a pen, and yet her ink is purple. Other pens admire her for the beautiful ink that she produces. But still, no one chooses her to be their own pen.

She asked the other pens, "Why do people don't want me to be their own pen?" The black pen answered, "Maybe because your ink is too beautiful that they are afraid you might get empty when they use you." Another pen answered, "Maybe because they do not know where they're gonna use you. You are a pen but your ink is purple. They can't use you as a typical pen for writing because they need either blue or black ink like us. They can't even use you for coloring because you are a pen."

Almost everyday, the pen with a purple ink bids goodbye to her fellow pens who leave because they found someone who would own them, with the names of their new found owner engraved on them. Pens just come and go, but the pen with a purple ink remains on the rack.

One day, while the pen with a purple ink was sleeping, a loud voice woke her up.

"Is this the only blue pen that you have?", the voice said.

"We ran out of blue pen, sir. We only have black pens and that single purple pen."

"Isn't it a blue pen? Ah, never mind, I'll just get it."


All pens on the rack giggled and cheered for the purple pen.

"At last! There is someone who noticed you! I think he will pick you," one of the black pens said to the purple pen.

"I don't think so," said the purple pen. "I heard he is looking for a blue pen. He just mistook me for a blue pen."

"Well, it doesn't matter. As long as you got his attention.", the other black pen added.

"Do you want your name to be engraved on this pen, sir?" said the lady.

"Hmm, I'll still think about it.", the guy answered.

The guy left and took the purple pen, thinking that it was a blue pen.

The pen with a purple ink felt happy because finally, someone pays attention to her uniqueness. But she was still in doubt, knowing that she was chosen not because of what she really is, but because of what the guy thought she was.

The guy took the pen to write a book, but he writes very seldom. He only writes when he needs to cheer himself up. He picks the purple pen when he has spare time to write, or when he remembers to use the pen. The purple pen feels upset when her owner forgets her. But every time the owner gets her and uses her for writing, she feels fulfilled because she was able to serve her purpose as a pen -- to be a part of writing his owner's life story.

Years have passed, the purple pen and her owner created a good relationship. Despite that she was mistaken for a blue pen, she stays faithful to her owner, providing him the things he need and cheering him up through writing.

But there was a time that the guy didn't write for a while. The pen with a purple ink noticed that her owner doesn't get her to write. She thought that her owner was just too busy. But it has been so long, and it was unusual.

One day, while the pen was on her owner's table, she heard the conversation of the paper and the planner.

"Have you seen the new pen our owner is using now?"

"Oh yeah. The new blue pen. It seems that it was not bought here."

"Exactly. It just arrived recently. And I heard that our owner wants his name to be engraved on that pen."

The moment that the purple pen was afraid of has arrived. It is the part of the story that she doesn't want to write. She didn't know what to feel or how to react on what she just heard. Though reality bit her, she was not that surprised anymore when she heard the news. She knew that there will come a time that she will no longer be the pen that her owner prefers to use. That is because she is just a pen -- a purple pen who was mistaken for a blue pen.

The pen with a purple ink went back to where she formerly belongs. She remains to be a pen without a name engraved on her. Despite what happened, she continues to write stories, but this time, her own life story.  Together with other new purple pens, she embraced her purpleness and started to love her own ink. She will never be or ever dream of being a blue nor black, and will not let anyone mistook her again for another pen.

"Pagod na ang Puso ko... Ayoko nang Umibig pa".

Naranasan mo na ba ang umibig? Eh yung umibig at masaktan?

Kung minsan, dahil sa curiosity, hindi ko maiwasan na maginterview ng mga mas matanda sa akin na wala pa ring asawa kung bakit hanggang ngayon ay single pa rin sila. Sa ilang mga nakausap ko, ang isa umano sa mga dahilan kung bakit nila pinili ang maging "matandang dalaga" ay dahil bukod sa may mas mahalagang bagay silang hinaharap, ay dahil sa mga hindi masyadong magagandang experiences nila patungkol sa pag-ibig. Sabi nila, sapat na sa kanila yung magmahal ng minsan at nasaktan. Ayaw na daw nila kumuha pa ng batong ipupukpok lang ulit sa ulo nila.

Minsan, sinasabi ng tao takot siya magmahal. Pero kung tutuusin, hindi talaga tayo takot magmahal, kundi takot tayong masaktan. Kaya para huwag masaktan, hindi na lang tayo nagmamahal (or should I say, pinipigilan natin ang ating sarili na magmahal).

Isang paraan yun para iwas sakit ng kalooban. Dahil kung minsan, yung akala mo ay pagibig na, ay siya palang magiging dahilan para masaktan tayo ng lubusan. May pagkakataon sa buhay natin, umibig ka sa isang tao, na sa kanya lang umikot ang mundo mo, na ibinigay mo na ang lahat sa kanya, ngunit sa bandang huli ay iiwan ka lang niyang mag-isa (read: nga-nga). Kung minsan, umibig ka sa isang tao, yun pala mayroon na siyang iba. At kung minsan naman, umibig ka sa isang taong akala mo ay siya na, yun pala ay di lang ikaw-- kundi marami pala kayo buhay niya. Kung lahat ng ito ay naranasan mo, at hanggang ngayon ay hindi ka pa rin nakakatagpo ng para sa iyo, maiintindihan na siguro kita kung bakit masasabi mong "pagod na ang puso ko na umibig, at ayoko nang umibig pa".

Ngunit mayroon namang sinasabi si Shakespeare na, "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". Hindi lang naman kasi sakit at sama ng kalooban ang maidudulot ng pag-ibig. Hindi lamang iyon ang kahulugan ng pag-ibig. Malawak ang sakop ng salitang "pag-ibig". At hindi ito nauukol lamang sa dalawang taong nagmamahalan.

Sa aking personal na karanasan, marami akong natutunan dahil sa pag-ibig. Ang pag-ibig ang nagtuturo sa akin na magkaroon ng lakas ng loob na magpatuloy sa kabila ng mga challenges na dumadating. Dahil sa pag-ibig, natutunan ko na unahin muna ang sa iba kaysa sa sarili. Dahil sa pag-ibig, mas naging maingat ako sa aking pagdedesisyon at sa paggawa para huwag masaktan ang kalooban ng iba at para manatili sa mga bagay na ipinagkatiwala sa akin. Dahil rin sa pag-ibig, mas natuto akong magtiwala sa magagawa Niya at hindi sa sarili kong pang-unawa. At higit sa lahat, dahil sa pag-ibig, nagkaroon ako ng biyaya mula sa Kanya, na ipinagkaloob Niya sa akin dahil pa rin sa pag-ibig.

Kahit ano man ang naranasan natin dahil sa pag-ibig, walang dapat pagsisihan sa mga ito. Kundi bagkus, dapat itong magsilbing aral sa atin. Hindi sapat ang sakit na naranasan natin para manghimagod tayo at mawala ang pagibig. At kahit ano man ang mangyari, kahit ano pa man ang aking maranasan, sa awa't tulong Niya at patuloy pa rin akong iibig at iibig pang muli. Dahil alam ko na ang pag-ibig ay nananatili, at ang tunay na pag-ibig ay hindi nagwawakas.

Lola Malyang

Isang madaling araw, bigla akong naalipungatan sa pagkakatulog ko. Nakita ko si Lola nasa loob ng kwarto.

"O, 'la. anjan ka po."

Si Lola Malyang.  Siya ang nanay ng nanay ko. Malambing. Mabait. Hindi marunong magalit. Kahit anong hirap ang pinagdadaanan, hindi ko siya narinig na dumaing. Sa kanya ako lumaki. Maliit pa lang akong bata ay siya na ang nagalaga sa akin. Palagi niya ako nun hinihiram kina Mama para magbakasyon sa bahay niya. Sa madalas na pagkakataon kasi noon, tanging ang portable TV niya na black and white at ang pusa niyang si Pelota ang kasama niya sa bahay. Kaya naman nung Grade 1 ako ay napagdesisyunan ng magulang ko na lumipat na lang kami at tumira sa bahay ni Lola.

Tuwing umaga ay ipinapasyal kami ng kapatid ko noon ni Lola sa may Irasan o asinan. Tuwang tuwa kasi ako kapag nasisikatan ng araw ang mga bundok ng asin. Kumikinang ito na parang mga diamante. Madalas rin kaming isama na magpipinsan ni Lola Malyang sa trabaho niya sa Greenhills. Isa kasi siyang taga burda nsa damit lalo na sa mga barong. Mahusay sa pagbuburda si Lola. Kaya naman nakapagtrabaho siya sa palasyo ng isang prinsipe ng Saudi para maging taga burda.

Nung nasa Saudi si Lola, hindi namin maiwasang magalala sa kanya. Lalo na't nung panahon na iyon ay sumiklab ang Gulf War. Wala pa naman kasing internet noon at cellphone para mas madaling macontact si Lola. Kinakailangan pa namin pumila ng mahaba sa PLDT para makapag overseas call. Nasubukan na rin naming makitawag sa DZRH sa programa ni Rey Langit na "Around The World with Love" kung saan may serbisyo silang Libreng Tawag overseas. At sa tuwing nagpapadala ng voice tape si Lola, hindi ko maiwasang mapaiyak kapag naririnig ko ang boses niya. Lalo akong naiyak noong nagrecord pa siya na inaawit niya ang "Handog" ni Florante.

Awa ng Dios ay nakauwi si Lola dito sa Pilipinas. Mula noon ay hindi na namin siya pinabalik ba sa ibang bansa kahit maganda pa ang offer. Ayaw na rin sana namin siya pagtrabahuin nun pero mas gusto daw niya ang may ginagawa. Kaya bumalik siya sa trabaho niya sa Greenhills.

Si Lola Malyang din ang nag-aalaga sa amin ng kapatid ko kapag nasa trabaho sina Mama at Papa. Hanggang sa nag high school na kami ay siya pa rin ang kasama namin. Kaya nga siguro pati yung ibang mga katangian niya ay namana ko na, gaya ng sobrang bagal kumilos. :)

Nakita ko rin kay Lola ang pagiging maka Dios. Palagi niya ako sinasabihan nun na magdasal lang palagi. Palaging humingi ng tulong sa Kanya, at Siya na ang bahala. Nung maanib sina Mama at Papa sa Church of God (Ang Dating Daan), nakikita ko si Lola na nakaupo sa may hagdan at pasimpleng nagsusulat ng mga talata sa biblia. Kung minsan nga, kahit siya lang mag-isa ay nanonood siya kay Bro. Eli.  Kaya nga nung nagtanong siya kung paano daw umanib sa ADD ay natuwa kami. Kaya sabi ko sa kanya nun, pagtungtong ko ng college, sabay na kami magpapadoktrina. Ilang buwan na lang naman yun.

Isang araw, napansin namin na parang tumataba si Lola. Pero iba ang pagkaka taba niya. Kapag hinawakan ko ang braso nya o kaya naman ang binti niya, lumulubog at nagmamarka ang daliri ko. Nung nagpacheck up siya, nalaman na mayroon siyang Kidney Failure. Hindi na nagfufunction ang kanyang bato at kumalat na ang tubig sa kanyang katawan. May ilang panahon pa na palang iniinda ni Lola ito, hindi lang siya nagsasabi sa amin. Ayaw daw niya kasing mag-alala kami o mapabigatan. 

Mula noon ay hindi na namin pinagtrabaho si Lola. Unti unti rin namin napansin ang paghina ng kanyang katawan. Hindi na niya nagagawang umakyat-baba sa hagdan. Palagi na lang siya nakahiga. Ayoko ng nakikitang pahina ng pahina si Lola. Pero sa kabila ng paghina ng kanyang katawan ay pilit niyang ipinapakitang kaya niya. Sa panahong ito, ako ang naging taga pag-alaga niya. Ito na rin marahil ang magandang pagkakataon para masuklian ko siya sa pag-aalagang ginawa niya sa akin mula ng maliit pa ako. Ako ang naging kasama niya palagi sa pagpapacheck up sa doktor.

Dahil mahal ko si Lola Malyang, halos lahat ng gusto niyang kainin ay ibinibigay ko. Nabigo lang akong mabigyan siya ng request niyang mami pagkatapos namin magpacheck up dahil malayo ang bilihan. Kaya sabi ko, mag spaghetti na lang kami sa McDo. Biniro ko pa siya na noodles rin naman yun, wala nga lang sabaw. Pumayag naman siya. Bakas sa mukha ni Lola na masaya siya habang kumakain ng spaghetti. Masaya rin ako dahil sa tagal naming magkasama ay first time namin kumain noon sa McDo na kaming dalawa lang.

Sa paglipas ng mga araw, napapansin naming hindi bumubuti ang kalagayan ni Lola Malyang kahit na anong gamot ang ireseta ng doktor. Kaya naman isang buwan bago ang kanyang kaarawan ay dinala na namin siya sa ospital para ipaconfine. Ang daming gamot na pinabibili ng doktor. Lahat, hindi tinatanggap ng katawan ni Lola. 

Dinala siya sa ICU. Umabot na daw ang tubig sa baga ni Lola. Kailangan siyang maobserbahan ng mga doktor. Hindi na rin namin makausap si Lola noon dahil natutulog siya. Mayroong oxygen at swerong nakakabit kay Lola. Nakikita ko, nahihirapan si Lola Malyang sa paghinga. Ayoko ng nakikita ko. Ayokong isipin na mawawala sa amin ang Lola Malyang ko.

Pasado alas-dose na nun. Kahit tulog siya ay nagpaalam na kami sa kanya. Unang araw kasi ng pasok ko sa college kinabukasan. Sabi ko kay lola, magpagaling siya. Kasi, meron pa kaming dapat  gawin. Magpapadoktrina pa kami.

Nakatulog ako sa bahay ng mamumugto ang mata kakaiyak.

Kinabukasan, gumising ako ng maaga para maghanda sa pagpasok. Di gaya ng ibang mga estudyante na excited sa unang araw ng klase bilang College, ako naman ay nagaalala pa rin sa kalagayan ni Lola Malyang. Bago bumangon ay nanalangin ako na sana, pagalingin Niya si Lola Malyang. Pag gumaling siya, pangako ko, magpapadoktrina kaming dalawa.

Pagbaba ko, nakita ko si Mama at ang tito ko na kapatid niya sa kusina. Tahimik. Tinanong ko sila. "Kumusta si Lola?"

Sumagot si Mama, malumanay. 

"Wala na si Lola mo nak e."

"Ah, ok po. Ligo na ako Ma."

Hindi ako nagpakita ng kalungkutan kina Mama. Dahil alam kong iiyak sila pagka umiyak ako. Kaya pagpasok ko sa banyo, dun ko na ibinuhos lahat.

Alam kong darating kami sa ganitong sitwasyon. Handa na naman ang kalooban ko. Nauunawaan ko rin na kalooban ito ng Dios para huwag na mahirapan pa si Lola. Pero masakit at nakakalungkot pa rin dahil alam kong mawawala na sa amin si Lola Malyang habambuhay. Hindi lang ito kagaya ng pag-alis niya papunta sa Saudi. Hindi ko na makikita ulit si Lola Malyang.

Halos isang buwan pagkatapos mailibing si Lola Malyang, at pagkatapos namin ipagdiwang ang kaarawan namin, nagdesisyon ako na magpadoktrina. Kahit wala na si Lola Malyang, itinuloy ko ang pagpapadoktrina ko. At awa ng Dios ay naging kaanib na ako sa Church of God. Nagpadoktrina ako dahil bukod sa alam kong ito ang totoo, alam ko ring ito rin ang gusto ng Lola ko.

Isang madaling araw, bigla akong naalipungatan sa pagkakatulog ko. Nakita ko si Lola sa kwarto.

"O, 'la. anjan ka po."

"Wala lang 'day. Kinumusta ko lang kayo"

"Ayos lang naman kami 'la. Ikaw po?"

Ngumiti si Lola.

Gusto ko sana bumangon at yakapin si Lola nun. Pero bigla na akong nagising, na lumuluha.

Sana, magkita ulit kami ni Lola Malyang. Kung hindi man dito, kahit doon sana sa buhay na darating.

Another Taxi Story: An Encounter with Echoserong Driver

Sa isang kagaya kong commuter, madalas ay mayroong kwentong nabubuo sa pagbibyahe. Gaya na lang ng naisulat kong article dati na "A Taxi Story".

Iba-iba ang tema ng kwentong nabubuo sa pagcocommute ko. Minsan comedy. Minsan nakakainis. Minsan naman, medyo creepy. At meron naman parang ewan lang. Gaya nitong experience ko na isinulat ko.

Note: Medyo mahaba-haba ito kaya ihanda na ang inyong mahabang pasensya.

Galing ako sa duty ko sa far north. Gaya ng dati, hindi na ako nakaabot sa LRT at MRT kaya minabuti ko nang sumakay ng taxi papuntang Lawton.

Kahit sa pagpili ng taxi ay pihikan ako. I don't settle for less. Kaya naman nang nakatyempo ako magandang klase ng taxi ay agad kong pinara.

Observant din ako kapag sumasakay rin ako ng taxi. Tinignan ko yung driver, mukhang matino naman. Maganda naman yung taxi na nasakyan ko. Bagong modelo yung sasakyan, Vios yata kung tama ang pagkakatanda ko. Diesel ata ang gasolina kaya hindi nangangamoy LPG sa loob. Mabago din ang loob ng sasakyan. Maganda rin ang sounds ni manong driver.

"Lawton lang po 'ma".

Normal na sa akin yung tinatanong ng driver kapag nasa taxi. Naiintindihan ko ang kalagayan nila. Minsan kelangan nilang makipagchikahan para magising. Kailangan ko rin maging friendly sa kanila. Hindi pwedeng magtaray,mahirap na. Pero kapag nagtatanong yung mga drivers, hindi lahat ng sagot ko ay totoo. May ilang totoo, may ilang hindi, at merong ilan na bunga lang ng aking imahinasyon. (Buti na lang hindi ko kamag-anak si Honesto.)

Habang nasa byahe, nagtanong si manong driver. "San pa kayo nauwi nyan, ma'am".

"Sa Paranaque pa ho."

"Ah. Tapos ganitong oras kayo umuuwi? Ang layo naman ng inuuwian ninyo sa trabaho ninyo."

"Ah, opo. Dyan lang may bakante eh."

Gaya ng sabi ko, hindi lahat ng sagot ko sa mga tinatanong sa akin at totoo. Friendly naman ang naging takbo ng conversation namin, pero nakikiramdam lang din ako sa mga tanong niya. Kailangan maging alisto.

Mukha namang mabait si kuya driver. May pagka chikadora nga lang. Kaso sa mga sumunod na tanong niya, hindi ko na alam kung ano at paano ko sasagutin.

"Eh nasaan po ang asawa ninyo, misis?"

Sa loob-loob ko, "echusero 'to ah. Mukha na ba talaga akong MISIS? At pati private life ko inuusisa?!" Pero siyempre, kalma lang dapat. Mahirap na.

"Ah, nasa abroad po e."

"Ganun ba misis (may emphasis ang salitang MISIS). Dapat dito na lang siya sa Pilipinas para may nagsusundo sa inyo. Gabi pa naman kayo umuuwi."

Sinagot ko na lang, "Hehe. Kelangan po e."

Panandaliang naputol ang kwentuhan namin ng pinatugtog sa radyo ang "Minsan Lang Kita Iibigin" ni Ariel Rivera. Dahil super favorite ko itong kantang ito, ninamnam ko muna ang bawat lyrics at melody.

Pagkatapos ng kanta, nagtanong na naman si manong driver. "Eh sino ang inuuwian mo sa Paranaque?"

"Magulang ko po". 

"Ah. Eh paano yung anak ninyo?"

"Magulang ko po". Inulit ko lang yung sagot ko, with same tone.

"Kaya pala sa magulang nyo kayo umuuwi", sabi ni driver habang nakatingin sa rear mirror.

"Pero misis, wag nyo sana masamain ha. Mukha ka pang bata. Wala sa itsura mo ang may anak." Pambobolang banggit nung driver.

Sa loob-loob ko na naman, "wala pala sa itsura ko, bakit misis agad ang ibinungad mo?"

Pero dedma lang ako sa sinabi nya. Nagtweet na lang ako ng "Etchuserang taxi driver. Humanda ka iboblog kita paguwi :))"

Dahil siguro wala na siyang ibang matanong, nagbago siya ng topic.

"Anong trabaho mo misis? Sa banko ka ba o opisina..."

"Teacher po ako."

"Ah talaga. Ayaw mo magpulis? Sayang eh, ang tangkad mo pa naman. Ano ba height mo?

Natawa ako sa offer niyang magpulis. Bagamat di ako sigurado, sabi ko na lang 5'5" ang height ko.

"Sayang yung height mo. Pwede ka namang magteacher at magpulis ng sabay. Pwede yun, dalawang trabaho.. Ako nga sideline ko lang itong pagtataxi eh."

Medyo napaisip ako sa sinabi nya. Kaya nagtanong ako. "Ano pa ho ba ang iba nyong trabaho bukod sa pagtataxi?"

"Pulis talaga ako sa araw. Sa gabi ako nagtataxi tsaka pagka off ko." sagot ni mamang driver.

"Ahhh. Talaga po? Ano na rango nyo", may pagka interesadong tanong ko.

"Sarhento. Sa Camp Bagong Diwa ako naka base", may pagpapakumbabang sagot niya.

"Eto po ID ko. Baka sabihin n'yo nagsisinungaling ako." sabay pakita ng ID.

"Wow ang galing naman! Eh mukhang ang bata pa ninyo ah. Ilang taon na ba kayo?"

"Trenta'y singko. Talagang nagfocus lang muna ako sa pagpupulis. Kaya nga hindi pa ako nagaasawa e. haha." natatawang sabi ni mamang driver.

Pero in fairness, may itsura naman si kuya driver. Kaso hindi ko na isusisa ang tungkol sa buhay niya. Mamaya ano pa isipin nya.

"Kung interesado kang magpulis, kuha ka lang ng exam sa NAPOLCOM. Pwede ka naman magturo sa loob ng kampo. May eskwelahan dun para sa mga detainee. Meron nga kami kasamahan teacher dun pero pulis din. Meron naman nurse na pulis.", kwento niya.

"Ah talaga po. Sige magiinquire ako."

Medyo nagkaroon ako ng bahagyang interes sa sinabi nya. May mga itatanong pa sana ako kaso malapit na ako bumaba.

"Dyan na lang po ako pagbaba ng tulay", sabi ko sa kanya habang tinuturo yung mga nakaparadang FX.

"Sige misis, pag interesado ka magpulis, hanapin mo lang ako sa Bagong Diwa. Tsaka kung kelangan mo ng taxi, mag text ka lang. Sa Taguig lang naman ako. Eto pala number ko..."sabay dikta sa number niya.

Sinave ko sa phone ko yung number. Sabay abot ng bayad.

"Sige po, sa inyo na yung sukli".

"Sige misis. Salamat. Ingat ha. Text ka na lang.", sabay andar ng taxi.

Paguwi ko dito sa bahay, sinearch ko sa phonebook ko yung sinave kong number niya na may pangalang "Sgt.".... sabay DELETE. :)

Pork Barrel, Politicians, and Public Service

August 26, 2013. Holiday dahil National Heroes Day. Bagamat wala kaming pasok sa school, kinailangan ko pa rin pumunta dahil mayroon kaming meeting ng mga instructors. Habang nasa byahe ako ay naipit naman ako sa matinding traffic mula Roxas Blvd. hanggang T.M. Kalaw. Mayroon nga palang Million People March na ginaganap sa Luneta. Halos daang libong taong mga nakasuot ng puti ang nakikita kong may dalang mga placards. Lahat sila kontra sa Pork Barrel. Lahat sila gustong iabolish na ang Pork Barrel.

Ano ang Pork Barrel?

Ang paggamit ng salitang PORK BARREL ay nagmula umano sa mga kasaysayan ng mga Amerikano. Noong panahon daw kasi bago ang Civil War, binibigyan ang mga alipin sa Amerika mula sa bandang katimugan ng mga baboy na nasa bariles bilang regalo sa holiday. Ang mga alipin naman ay nakikipagkumpitensya sa ibang mga alipin para makuha ang parte nila sa nasabing regalo.

Ngunit pagdating sa politika, ang Pork Barrel ayon sa http://tl.wikipedia.org ay ang nilaang malaking halaga ng pambansang taunang badyet ng pamahalaan sa mga mambabatas ng bansa. Ang bawa't senador ay pinaglalaanan ng 200 milyong piso at ang bawa't kinatawan ay pinaglalaanan ng 70 milyong piso sa programang tinatawag na Priority Development Assistance Fund o PDAF.

Bakit gusto (o mahalaga) ng mga politiko ang Pork Barrel? 

Para sa mga politiko, mahalaga ang mabigyan sila ng Pork Barrel o ng bahagi sa taunang badyet ng pamahalaan dahil ito ang nagagamit nila para matustusan ang kanilang mga proyekto para sa mga mamamayan.

Ayon kay Senador Panfilo Lacson, ang isang kurakot na mambabatas ay maaaring makakuha ng hindi bababa sa 20 porsiyentong komisyon sa paggamit ng kaniyang taunang itinalagang pork barrel para sa inprastraktura at iba pang mga proyekto. Ayon din kay Lacson, ito'y nangangahulugang ang isang kurakot na senador ay maaaring makapagbulsa ng 40 milyong piso kada taon, 240 milyong piso sa anim na taon at 480 milyon sa 12 taon.

Ito ang ipinaglalaban ng mga raliyista -- ang alisin na ang Pork Barrel dahil ito ang nagiging dahilan ng corruption. Imbes na mapunta sa taumbayan ang buwis na kanilang ibinigay sa pamamagitan ng mga proyekto, ay napupunta lang sa mga bulsa ng mga kurakot na politiko.

Makakagawa ba ng proyekto ang mga politiko kahit walang Pork Barrel?

Oo, makakagawa pa rin ng proyekto ang mga politiko kahit walang Pork Barrel. Kung bibigyan man sila ng Pork Barrel, dapat lang ay tama ang paggamit nito. Pero kung tutuusin, hindi na talaga nila kailangan ng Pork Barrel. Hindi ba't kaya sila tumakbo noong eleksyon dahil gusto nila maging PUBLIC SERVANT? Ibig sabihin, maglilingkod sila sa bayan sa kanilang sariling paraan, hindi sa paraang kukuha sila ng pera sa mga mamamayan na siya nilang gagamitin para pang tulong din sa mga mamamayan. Para na nilang ginisa sa sariling mantika ang mga tax payers.

Kaya nga noong may nabasa akong article na sinabi umano ng isang Congresswoman sa isang probinsya na "Ok lang na alisin ang pork barrel. Basta huwag lang manghihingi sa amin ang mga mamamayan. E ano'ng ibibigay namin? Hindi naman pwede yung pinaghirapan namin dahil sa personal naman namin 'yun, sa mga anak, sa mga pang-araw-araw na panggastos namin." Sa loob-loob ko, hindi ata nalalaman ng Congresswoman na ito ang salitang "PUBLIC SERVICE". Kaya ka lang ba tutulong sa mamamayan kapag binigyan ka ng pera na galing rin sa kanila? At kung wala nang ibigay sa iyo, hindi ka na gagawa ng mabuti sa kapwa mo dahil yung pera mo ay para lang sa inyo ng pamilya mo? Hindi ko alam bakit siya nanalo kung ganun ang pananaw niya.

Public Service Without The Pork Barrel.

Hindi kinakailangan ng Pork Barrel para makatulong sa mamamayan. Sa katunayan, nagagawa nina Bro. Eli Soriano at Kuya Daniel Razon na tumulong sa kapwa kahit hindi sila politiko at wala naman silang pork barrel na natatanggap. Nagagawa nila ang iba’t ibang paglilingkod sa kapwa ng LIBRE at walang hinihintay na kapalit gaya ng mga sumusunod:

• Libreng Sakay (Bus, Jeep, Lantsa, Eroplano)
• Free Clinic (everyday)
• Free Transient
• Free Legal Consultation
• Free Education (Preschool to College)
• Feeding Programs
• 24/7 Rescue (Tulong Muna Bago Balita / Tulong Muna Bago Pasada)
• Orphanage 

photos courtesy of  http://www.danielrazon.org

Bukod pa dito ay on-going ang UNTV Cup, isang basketball league na panukala ni Kuya Daniel Razon kung saan mayroong 7 teams na naglalaro para sa premyong 1 milyong piso. Ngunit ang halagang ito ay hindi mapupunta sa mga manlalaro kundi sa charitable institution na napili nilang tulungan.

 photo courtesy of  http://www.untvweb.com 

Ang Konklusyon
Mahalaga ang Pork Barrel kung tama ang paggamit dahil maari itong gamitin para sa mga proyektong ang pangunahing makikinabang ay ang mga mamamayan. Pero hindi dapat nakadepende lang sa Pork Barrel ang pagtulong sa kapwa. May Pork Barrel man o wala, magagawa mo pa ring makatulong sa kapwa tao kung talagang gugustuhin mo. Dun mas makikita ang intensyon ng tao lalo na ng mga politiko kung sinsero sila sa pagtulong. Maari namang makagawa ng mga public services ang mga politiko kahit walang pork barrel. Katunayan, nagagawa ito nina Bro. Eli Soriano at Kuya Daniel Razon. Bagama’t hindi sila mga politiko, bagama’t wala silang Pork Barrel, at bagama’t pinasasama sila ng mga kaaway nila, patuloy pa rin ang kanilang paglilingkod sa kapwa, at patuloy na ginagawa ang tunay na kahulugan ng PUBLIC SERVICE. 

24/7 Community Prayer: Relief to a Weary Heart

I am a teacher... and so am I. Students learn from what I teach. They may see me as a source of their knowledge. But it doesn't mean that I am already perfect. There are times that I know I have given my best yet I still fall short. I smile and cry too. Yes, I am happy, but I also encounter trials and hardships in life.

I succeeded sometimes but I fail many times.  I may be capable of getting what I want, but there are times that I still feel empty. There was once I appreciate to love and as well feel the pain of being not loved back. Well, I believe I am not the only one who has these kinds of experiences. And yes, these are of being human. These are signs that we are alive.

But whatever problem we may encounter, solution is not very hard to find. As what Bro. Eli and Bro. Daniel are always saying, “The shortest distance between your problem and the solution is just the distance between your knees and the floor when you kneel down and pray.”

It was on 2008 when Bro. Eli and Bro. Daniel launched the 24/7 Community Prayer. It is a non-stop community singing and prayer service for the Members of Church of God International available through the internet and via satellite. Through 24/7 Community Prayer, we can fulfill what is written in 1 Thessalonians 5:17, “Pray without ceasing”.

Screen shot from www.mcgi.org/community-prayer

But 24/7 Community Prayer just got even better. It was just about more than a week ago when Top of the Hour was launched. Instead of just playing praise songs before the prayer every hour, there is a program aired 24/7 (except during church services) where in our KNPs and TPs from Apalit, Pampanga and from different points around the world are the hosts/DJs. During the program, brethren are being informed about the different upcoming church activities and being reminded about the things that will strengthen to our faith. We can also send our greetings and messages. Listeners can also request any songs of praises that we want to hear to comfort our souls. And most of all, we can join the community prayer every top of the hour led by the assigned KNP and TP.

Screen shot from "Top of the Hour".

So whenever we feel down and low, we want to get some relief to our weary heart, or we want to give thanks to His Majesty for all His kindness, just log on to link.mcgi.org or visit any ADD Coordinating Center. Tune in to "Top of the Hour" and join the 24/7 Community Prayer. You will  feel that there is indeed a relief after a prayer--- just what I have felt right now with God’s help. :)

UNTV Cup: New Concept in Public Service

When people ask me where I teach, I proudly say “at La Verdad Christian College”. In a not surprising mode, I know that most of them are not familiar with the name so I have to describe in all gesture and non verbal diads like where it is located, when it was established, etc.  But when I already mention “It offers full scholarship to the students. Free tuition, Free uniforms, even free meals! In other words ABSOLUTELY FREE!”, it amazes them. Then the next question that needs to be entertained: “How were you able to survive? Where do you get your fund?” I would just say, “Like what Bro. Eli and Kuya Daniel are always saying, from God’s help and mercy.”  

So there we go.

La Verdad Christian College is just one of so many public services of Bro. Eli and Kuya Daniel, such as Free Ride, Free Clinic, Free Legal Consultation, Free Transient Home, etc.  But who finances these public services? It is Bro. Eli Soriano and Kuya Daniel Razon who are the primary sponsors of these projects, with the continuous support of the Members of Church of God International. Aside from that, Kuya Daniel Razon spearheads different fund raising projects such as fun run, concerts, basketball games, etc. And these projects are being supported by the LGUs, public servants, extending to the people from the private sector. Proceeds of these projects go to the public services launched by Bro. Eli Soriano and Kuya Daniel Razon.

But this time, Bro. Eli and Kuya Daniel extend their hands to reach out and support other institutions that also need assistance.  The very reason UNTV Cup is born, guided of bright concepts and ideas of Kuya Daniel Razon. The team who will win in the championship game will donate their cash prize to the charitable institution of their choice. Nota Bene: None of the cash prize will go to their pocket but to the institution that they want to support. In this manner, we are being taught to strive hard not for ourselves but for the others. Like what Bro. Eli has mentioned in his welcoming speech, “We will play hard, get tired and perspire, not for our own benefit, but for the benefit of those who need our help. Because this is what the Lord Jesus did. He even gave His life just to save us”.

There are 7 teams from the different government agencies who will compete to get the prize of 1 Million Pesos. It means that they will be able to extend help to the charitable institution of their choice without getting a centavo from the government funds. These teams are: PNP, AFP, LGUs, DOJ, Judiciary, PhilHealth, MMDA. Each team also has at least one celebrity player to play with them. Some of them are Michael Flores, Jao Mapa, Eric Fructuoso, Onyok Velasco, Brando Legaspi, Kier Legaspi and Zoren Legaspi. Former PBA Star and now Mapua coach Fortunato “Atoy” Co will be the commissioner while Mr. Ed Cordero will act as the assistant commissioner.

The ball was officially tossed to open the ceremony of UNTV Cup on July 29, 2013 at the Smart Araneta. Each teams and players were introduced to the cheering crowd. There was also a game between DOJ and AFP.  During this event, I was not just a spectator as I was given the opportunity to be a part of the event. I was assigned to assist the guests as they arrive, wave a smile and say "hello!". And of course, lead them to their designated seats. My task seems to be easy, but I have to walk to and fro, up and down from 2^nd floor to 1^st floor and vice versa. Quite tiring but I can’t help saying myself that I just love it. Not because it would help burn my fats (Well, it was just a joke. If jokes are half meant, so I really mean it). At the end of the day, it is fulfilling to say that I was able to be a part of this noble cause in my own little way to the minute little one.

UNTV Cup is so new to its very broad project. I am hoping that people who understand this noble cause will continuously hold up UNTV Cup not only during its opening ceremonies, but as well all the games for the entire season. By the way, just for a graceful exit from a source which I hope does not actually exist, I heard that there is some other network that will also launch a same concept? Hmmm…

Anyway, I want to end this by giving my heartfelt congratulations to Bro. Eli and Kuya Daniel for being the pioneers of this new concept in public service. We are thankful to God for having them who always do public services to all people, regardless of their race and religion. To God be the Glory forever!

Mr. Public Service Kuya Daniel Razon with AFP and DOJ Basketball Teams during the ceremonial toss. (Photo courtesy of https://www.facebook.com/KuyaDanielRazon)

The powerful All Access Pass that allows me to go anywhere in Smart Araneta. Yes, even to the players' dug out. *big grin* 

 With my student Meryl, who stayed with us (Ate Ehlite) in welcoming the guests.

Twitter Party with Bro. Eli

I came home last night very late from my duties. I was that really exhausted. Not because of the things I went over the whole day, but because I traveled from Valenzuela from my schedule post and gone to Parañaque where I reside. I even skipped dinner (yeah, that was on purpose) because I preferred to lie down and sleep rather than to eat.

But before I went up to my room, my eyes were patched on my PC then decided to turn it on, check in some queries and documents that my students might sent me. I also checked my twitter account for some messages. It was just plain surfing.

And to my surprise! Bro. Eli Soriano just posted his tweets few seconds ago! Twitter users were also sending their messages and asking questions to Bro. Eli. I tried to send him a message, expecting to get a reply from him. My intuitions were never wrong and he never failed me. He replied not only to one of my messages, but to all the messages I sent him. Even a simple "ssD" really made me feel overjoyed. It relieved my stress. Yes, it does at an instant. I already forgot that I was about to sleep. I stayed up until 2am.

He even greeted Johnas on his 1st birthday. Well, actually, I requested him to do so. :)

If being not absurd, I know that the "feel" was just overwhelming, not knowing that I was already getting so much of his time. But this is a very rare opportunity for me to catch Bro. Eli interacting to his followers on twitter. More often than not, I always miss the chance that he is online. So then why not at the perfect time, I grabbed the opportunity to send him message about La Verdad instructors. Funny may sound to hear but the joy was measured exactly what I am expecting. 

No beautiful words to describe the happiness that was. He did not just mention his twitter followers, but he gave words of encouragement and answered their questions too. It's like there were no distance between the lines and the spaces were filled with bliss and content. It's like we were having a twitter party until the wee hours of the morning. Inspite that Bro. Eli has so many obligations to deal with, he still finds time to reach us and gives us words of wisdom by and even through social media. We are very thankful to God for sending us a loving and reachable preacher like him. :)

About To End Something that Hasn't Started Yet

Have you ever felt something special for a person, that everytime that person comes near, your heart beats faster? And every time you see each other, you feel like the wind is blowing and the music is playing? And then suddenly, you realize that it was just a wishful thinking.

We are designed to love because as we are created out of it. I am not only referring to "Eros" which is the love you feel for your special someone, but also to “Philia" which is the love we feel for our friends, siblings and parents, and the "Agape" which is the love that we refer to His Highness.

Since we are of the so-called living souls, it is inevitable for us to feel the Eros love to a person.  When we reach our pubescent age, we then set off to admire another living soul whatever individual standards we may have for a person. The process didn’t stop there; this admiration will turn into infatuation, and when you get in your prime, I mean being mature, this infatuation will widen the artful meaning of love.

There is no concrete detail of a reference that a person can avoid this feeling. Again, and I’ll say it one more time, it is INEVITABLE. As long as we are breathing, our hypothalamus will continuously dictate us who we want or who we like.  

Indeed, we cannot avoid falling in love. But admiring or being in love with a person, is not a valid reason for someone to get into a relationship. Of course, just like what Bro. Eli is always reminding us, we have to be prepared- physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. Oh to mention; financially.

In spite of having the symptoms of this "ailment," if you feel an exquisite thing is about to start, and yet you are not prepared in all aspects, do not take the risk. It is better to end something that hasn't started yet before you realize that it is too late.

Just a second. I just need to get this thing off my chest.

The Thought of Giving Thanks

I may not be perfect as I am trying always to be like one and I often make mistakes. Probably because I am human and I am prone to it and that made me a fragile being. I even committed mistakes that I thought would not be forgiven. 

But God is good and always as He is. His hands are always stretched to reach me and rise me up every after fall, as always and will always be.

He provided me a chance to continue with my duties. He even gave me more of than that although I know I am not worthy. and most special of all, He showered me blessings that never fails to bring joy in my life and to put smile in my face.

But these are not just the reasons why I offer thanksgiving to Him...

There are things that I keep on asking Him. Things that I thought that would make me happy. Things that I thought would complete me. (I know you know what I mean and HE (God) even knew it). I believe that there is a perfect time for everything. I trust Him and He knows what's best for me. If an ideal biological father does not give his children anything that would harm them, so as the Father in heaven.

I am offering thanksgiving not only for the blessings that He gave me, but also for all the things that He did not give and has not given yet.

I may not receive all the things that I ask for, but He definitely will give all the BEST for me. And I thank God for all of these. Thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift.

God works in mysterious ways :)

Five years ago, I experienced one of the unforgettable challenges in my life.

It was in 2007 when Bro. Eli mentioned in one of the gatherings that we need to propagate God's word all over the word. Thus, there is in need of workers to be assigned not only in the Philippines but most especially abroad. A lot of natives in their own land are seeking for the true church. And it is our responsibility to bring to them the teachings of Christ. I admit, I was also hoping that someday, in my own little way, I could also help in propagating God's words in other countries. In what manner, I do not know. I just wanted to help the ministry in each and every manner that God would allow.

First week of June 2008, I received an international call from a worker, saying that there is a need of additional workers and at the same time teachers in the country where he was assigned during that time. And I was one of their choices. But during that time, I was just a half-timer, and if they will be sending workers abroad, probably they will choose the regular workers. So I didn't take it seriously, though I was hoping too that I could also be assigned.

A few weeks later, a sister from the foreign ministry asked for my passport. She also asked for some information about me for my visa. She said that I might be sent to Papua New Guinea anytime soon. I was very happy when I heard that news. But I don't want to expect too much. Because I don't want to get disappointed if ever that it will not happen, I just let things  come. I just let God's will be done.

For a couple of days, I haven't heard any updates from the Foreign Ministry, as to where my visa was already released. So I assumed that I will not be leaving anymore. So I just made myself busy with my work as a public school teacher since the school year has just started.

Until one day, I received a call from that sister again. She said that she already booked a ticket for me, and the flight will be two days from that day! But the problem is, my visa was not yet released. I had a mixed emotions! I was very thankful to God and very much overwhelmed because I already have my ticket, but at the same time, I was still uncertain because I still don't have my visa. Even though my flight still doesn't have assurance, I already mentioned it to my family and to my District Servant. Again, I just let God's will be done.

The following day, at around 5pm, I was about to leave the school when the same sister called and told me the good news. She said that my visa was just released and I will fly the next day! I cannot explain my emotion at that moment! It was like I wanted to jump, shout, and hug everyone I would meet. I told my principal about my flight. She was surprised that I will be leaving that soon. She said that she won't hinder it but I just need to file a Permit to Travel at the Regional Office since I am a DepEd employee. The processing would take about a week.

I just had to face another challenge.

June 25, 2008. I woke up early to process my Permit to Travel. Since my flight will be at 10pm, I still have time to process my permit. Although they said that it will take a week for my permit to be released, I was still hoping that I can get it on that day. I really wanted to go to Papua New Guinea. I just kept on hoping and praying for God's miracle to happen.

I went to school and it only took me half an hour to get some documents from my Principal. Next, it was around 11am already when I arrived at the DepEd Paranaque Division Office wherein I need the supervisors sign my documents. I was a little hopeless at that time because their offices are far from one another and I do not know them all nor know their faces. But to my surprise, all the signatories were just walking to and fro in front of me. Thanks to one of the staff who helped me to identify the supervisors.

Past 12nn. I didn't feel hungry. All I wanted to do is to get my permit to travel. After I got all the signatures of the supervisors, I went to DepEd NCR at Quezon City as fast as I could.

I arrived at DepEd NCR at around 2pm. I went to the director's office to submit my documents. But the clerk said that the director was not around. Maybe I could just come back the following day, or later at 5pm. During that time, I was really, really hopeless. I knew that I couldn't fly to Papua New Guinea. I already accepted that maybe, it wasn't God's will for me to go to Papua. I just left the documents at the director's office. While waiting for 5pm, I went to Frisco where Bro. Fred and Ate Ehlite were preparing their things.

I explained to them everything. I even told them that I might not go with them anymore. I also texted Ate Ruth.

I went back to DepEd NCR before 5pm. To my surprise, the clerk returned to me the documents, not only with the Director's signature, but also with the Permit to Travel! I do not know where to put my happiness, I was very happy! Finally, I can now fly to Papua!

But the clerk said, I still have to return the copy to the division office.

Well, I just faced another challenge. The office was already closed. Again, I knew on that moment that I was not really meant to be assigned in Papua.

Very down and sad, I rode a taxi and went home. While travelling, I called my mom. I told her that I will not be leaving anymore. I explained to her everything. She said to me to just go home and take a rest. She knew that I was very tired.

After a few minutes, my mom called. She said that she called the school and said that they will just send the documents to the division office, so I better hurry so that I can still catch the flight!

I didn't notice that tears were already running down my eyes. The words that I just uttered were "Thanks be to God!"

June 25, 2008. The day that I will never forget. The day that I saw how God works in mysterious ways. The day that despite of the hindrances, God made a way for His will to happen. Indeed, it was written in the Bible, "Yea, before the day was I am he; And there is none that can deliver out of my hand: I will work, and who shall let it?" Thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift!

 https://www.facebook.com/MCGI.org 

A Taxi Story

Past 10pm. Pauwi na ako galing duty. Since sa Far North ako destino at uuwi pa ako ng South, I have to take a cab hanggang Maynila dahil wala nang LRT/MRT.

While on the taxi, di maiwasan na may kailangan makausap sa phone. At sa paguusap sa phone, di rin maiwasan na gumamit ng mga words na church-related like "Bro, Sis, Lokal" etc.

After the conversation, nagtanong ang driver kung (name ng isang kilalang religion) daw ba ako. Kinabahan na ako. Binalik ko yung tanong sa kanya. Sabi niya oo daw. Bingo! Tapos tinanong niya ako saang lokal daw ako. Sabi ko sa sarili ko, yari, pinagkamalan ako. Kaya nagpretend na lang ako. Sabi ko Caloocan (may nakikita kasi ako dun). Tinanong ko rin siya (para di ako mahalata). Sagot naman siya, sa keme kemerloo daw siya, pero gumaganap daw siya sa kemerloo, etc. Tinanong niya ako kung gumaganap (may tungkulin) daw ba ako o ano. Sabi ko wala. Busy ako sa trabaho kaya di ako gumaganap. Mukhang naintindihan naman niya ako kasi siya rin walang tungkulin sa kanila.

I was trying to divert the topic. Pero mukhang masaya siya na nakakuha siya ng pasaherong ka-"relihiyon" niya. Proud siya na ikwento yung pinanggalingan niya, at yung mga ginagawa niya.

Pero dito na ako mas kinabahan. Nagkwento na siya na "diba sa atin, pagka may naagrabyado, hindi tayo papayag na maapi sa atin." sagot naman ako "siyempre". Sabi niya "kaya nga nung yung isang (mataas na posisyon sa miyembrong lalaki) sa blah blah, nung binaril siya, sinugod namin yung bumaril eh. Paano ba naman, sinita kasi niya yung nagsisiga ng wire. Eh tinutukan siya ng baril. Ang ginawa niya, pumasok. Kumuha ng itak. Ang mali niya, itak ang kinuha niya. Dapat yung gamit (baril) niya. Kaya ayun, binaril siya sa ulo."

Nagtanong ako, "Ano na po nangyari dun sa bumaril"

"Sinuyod namin yung lugar. Hinanap namin. Swerte niya di namin siya nahuli. Kasi kung nagkataon, sasalvage-gin talaga namin yun"

*Gulp*. Lumingon na ako sa paligid kung safe na ba bumaba. Pero either way, magstay man ako sa taxi o bumaba man sa kalsada, parehong hindi safe. So I just continued yung pagpepretend ko na "lamig".

Edi nagtanong ako (para maiba lang ang topic), "taga saan ka kuya?"

Sagot naman siya, "taga mindanao talaga ako. Dun ako nakakilala. Kinukuha nga nila ako dun na (pangalan ng Security Group). Pero sabi ko hindi muna. Sasama na lang ako pagka may "operation".

Nagets ko agad ang ibig sabihin niya sa salitang "operation".

"Sa mindanao din, may isa dun, narape. Ang ginawa sa mga nangrape, niresbakan. Binuhusan ng gasolina. Tapos sinunog."

Wala akong ibang nasabi kundi "grabe".

Buti na lang, pababa na ako. Nagbayad na ako. Di ko alam kung eksakto lang ba ibabayad ko o bibigyan ko siya ng tip dahil sa pagkakahatid niya sa akin.

Nag-thank you ako kay kuya. Nagthank you din siya at nagsabing "ingat ka".

Panaginip

(Posted on June 22, 2012)


Iba't iba ang pananaw ng tao sa panaginip. May mga panaginip na nagkakatotoo. Meron naman totoong nangyayari pero parang panaginip lang. Ngunit mayroon namang mga panaginip na hindi lang magkakatotoo kundi kasalukuyan na palang nangyayari.

Martes ng hapon. Naglalakad ako sa lobby ng school nang lumapit sa akin yung nagseset up ng audio sa auditorium. Sabi niya, "Sis Sheila, magseset-up lang kami sa taas." Tinanong ko siya, "ay, para saan po?" Wala kasi akong idea kung ano ang meron dahil ang alam ko, hindi tuloy yung dapat na naka schedule na taping. Sabi niya, "in case lang na may biglang dumating". Agad ko naisip, si kuya? Andito na kaya si kuya? Gusto ko sana tanungin pero nahiya naman ako kaya tinanong ko na lang kung kelan ang taping ng ASOP. Inisip ko na lang, baka kasi sila yung biglang dumating. Pero sa loob loob ko, sana si Kuya.

Alas-dos ng madaling araw lang ako nakauwi at nakatulog. Ramdam ko ang pagod sa buong araw na paggawa kaya naman agad ako nakatulog at nanaginip ng isang napakagandang panaginip.

May event daw na gaganapin sa auditorium. Medyo iba ang setting ng auditorium pero alam ko, yun yung auditorium ng school. May ilang mga kilala akong tao sa panaginip ko. Isa na dun si Kuya Daniel. Binisita niya daw yung auditorium. Tinignan kung maayos ba ang pagkakagawa, etc. habang ang iba naman ay abala sa pagseset up. Nung bumaba daw ako, nakita ko daw na bukas ang ilaw ng office niya, patunay na anjan nga si kuya.

Mga alas 8 na ng umaga. Tumigil ang electric fan. Nagising ako sa brown out. Bumangon na ako. Pero kahit na puyat, ipinagpasalamat ko pa rin ang magandang umagang dumating. Pakiramdam ko kasi, ang haba ng tulog ko. Maganda ang gising dahil maganda ang panaginip.

Kinumusta ko ang lagay ng school kay Tykes. Sabi niya...

"Dumaan daw dito si KUYA. Kaninang alas-4 ng madaling araw. Tinignan lang yung auditorium."

:)

If not for Bro. Eli, I might be a liability of the society

I grew up Catholic. I was baptized in the Catholic Church in our village where I also received my “sacrament of confirmation”. My parents were both active in the Catholic Church. My Father was a former president and lay minister of a chapel in our place. He also never missed going to Quiapo, bare-footed, during the Feast of the Black Nazarene. My mother would always bring me and my sister to Baclaran every Wednesday for she was a devotee of Mary in the Redemptorist Chruch, where we learned how to read the novena booklet, light candles and walk through the center aisle of the church by our knees.

During my younger years, I was actively participating in different programs of the Church. I used to recite poems during the feast of Immaculate Mary. I joined the street dancing during the parade of different Sto. Niños along Roxas Boulevard. Whenever I join different academic contests, I always had a small Sto. Nino in my pocket which I rub when I do not know the answer (my parents told me that it would help me think for the correct answer). When I reached my adolescence, I joined the choir in our church. And since I was inclined into bands and playing musical instruments during that time, when the guitarist of our choir left the group and went abroad, I was the one who took over. Sometimes, I was also assigned to be a lector and commentator during the mass. I regularly attend the Charismatic Youth Ministry, a youth organization in our church where in we do bible studies (or shall I say, we read one verse per session), singing songs while our eyes closed and both hands raised, and a lot of “speaking in tongues” – saying such words that we do not really understand. More so, I also graduated in an all-girl school run by nuns. But though I was an active Catholic member, this didn’t help me to become a better person. But instead, I gave me a way to do all the pleasures that a typical youth was doing.  I was always going out for gimmicks and watch rock bands with my friends until the wee hours of the morning, barkada trips, even ear and nose piercing.

With all my background and experiences, I may say that I was a “Katoliko Sagrado” with a twist. As the people described me, I was a saint during the day, but a sinner and certified rocker at night. I had this thinking that there is no problem doing those earthly pleasures because there will come a time, when I get old already, I won’t be able to do those things anymore. Besides, I was active in the Catholic Church so I believed that my entire shortcoming will be forgiven. My basis if my sins were forgiven was the "ostia" or host given by the priest. According to our belief then, if the host stays long in your tongue, your sins were already cleansed. If it stays only for a couple of seconds, you are still not forgiven.

I was not really a problem child. But I knew there was a tendency that I would become one if I kept walking on that track. But God is good and He never let me continue walking through that path.

One day, my father and I were watching the final game of Ginebra (I think was Gordon's Gin at that time) and Alaska on TV. I was an avid fan of Alaska and my dad was a fan of Ginebra. Alaska was leading and my dad got irritated because his team was losing so he changed the channel. While he was browsing channel, a religious program with a preacher speaking angrily caught our attention. It was the first time we heard the preaching for Bro. Eli Soriano through RJTV 29. Then we found the program ANG DATING DAAN. We knew about Bubble Gang’s Ang Dating Doon but we were not eager to search which religious program it was spoofing. During that time, Bro. Eli was very angry explaining why Mary should not be worshiped. I, who was also a Marian devotee since child, got offended and wanted to disagree with what Bro. Eli was saying. I said in my mind that Mary should be worshiped because she is the Mother of God, and I learned that from the priests in our church as well as from the nuns in my school. Then Bro. Eli answered that "Mary is not the Mother of God because God has no Mother—she is just the mother of Jesus who came in flesh. I was amazed! How come that he knew what was on my mind! I rapidly took the small Gideon bible in our altar with full of dust and was never opened since it was given to me, and checked on every verse that Bro. Eli is explaining. And everything that he says is all in the Bible. Even the worshiping of idols and eating of hosts during mass, which I thought would all cleanse my sins are all wrong. I also heard from Bro. Eli how youth must spend their strengths and knowledge – not in earthly pleasures and vices, but in serving Him. I started comparing his teachings with the teachings of our priests which are mostly no basis at all. But for Bro. Eli, everything that he says, he reads it in the bible. He always says “Basa!”, which I never heard from the priests and nuns. Since then, I was hooked to Bro. Eli’s program and never attended catholic church activities anymore.

My parents were baptized first. Then a few months after, I received my baptism too. And since then, my life has changed for the better. If not for Bro. Eli, my life would be miserable and I might be a liability of the society. With all His great works and for sending Bro. Eli, all I can say is Thanks be to God.

Please visit https://www.facebook.com/MCGI.org to know more about the religious org that I am now affiliated with. :)

Sa lahat ng mga bagay na ito, Salamat sa Dios! :)

March 29, 2012. Isa sa mga petsa na hindi ko makakalimutan sa buong talambuhay ko bilang guro. Ang araw kung saan nagsipagtapos ang unang batch ng mga magaaral sa La Verdad Chistian College Caloocan. Parang kailan lang nung nagpapasimula ang La Verdad Caloocan. Awa ng Dios, mayroon nang mga graduates ang paaralan. Gaya ng mga nagsisipagtapos na inaalala ang masasaya at ilang malulungkot na karanasan nila nung magpasimula silang mag-aral sa kolehiyong ito, hindi ko rin maiwasan na alalahanin ang pagpapasimula ko sa paaralang ito.

Noong nalaman ko na magbubukas ng La Verdad sa Caloocan, agad kong kinontak si Kuya Gary, isa sa mga guro ng La Verdad Apalit. Nagsabi ako sa kanya na gusto ko makapagturo sa bubuksan na bagong branch sa Caloocan, pero Tuesday at Thursday lang ako makakapagturo gawa ng nagtuturo pa ako noon sa isang public school. Pinagsubmit niya ako ng resume. Pero matapos yun, hindi ko na nagawang magfollow up dahil naging busy na rin ako sa pinapasukan kong trabaho.

April 2010, nagcocomputer at nagfefacebook ako sa bahay noong nakatanggap ako ng tawag mula kay Ate Ruth.

Ako: Hello po?

Ate: Shie, pwede ka na bang maging administrator ng school?

Narinig ko naman ang tanong niya pero hindi ako sigurado sa tinanong niya. Kaya nagtanong ulit ako.

Ako: ano po yun te?

Ate: Ano ba ang requirements para maging administrator ng school?

Ako: Ah, ano po, dapat po may Masteral.

Ate: ah, ano dapat ang Masters?

Ako: Educ Management po. Pero pwede naman po kahit ano. Pero mas maganda po kung Educ Management.

Ate: ah, may masters ka na ba?

Ako: Po? Hehe, on going pa lang po. Pero di po ako enrolled ngayon te eh.

Ate: kelan ka matatapos?

Ako: matagal pa po, nakaka 18 units pa lang po ako.

Ate: ah, sige sige. Kelangan ng administratror sa bubuksang La Verdad sa caloocan. Gumawa ka ng structure ng admin ha. Kung sino-sino at anong mga posisyon ang kailangan mo. Gawa ka ka na ngayon, ipapasa ko kay kuya.

Ako: (tulala) po? Ah sige po..

Right after nun, itinigil ko muna ang pagfe Face Book. Di ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko. Sobrang saya na naiiyak. Ang tangi ko lang talagang nasabi noon ay "salamat sa Dios". Agad kong ginawa yung admin structure. Habang ginagawa ko, bumubulong ako ng "Panginoon, di ko po kaya ito. Ikaw na po ng bahala." Awa ng Dios, walang isang oras ay nagawa ko yung structure. Napabuntong hininga ako at nagsabi ng, " hay salamat sa Dios." Sinend ko agad kay ate. Nananalangin ako na sana ok lang yung sinend ko.

After ilang araw, pinatawag na ako sa UNTV para sa meeting with LVCC Apalit. Dun na pinagusapan yung patungkol sa interview, enrolment, application sa TESDA, etc. na ang Caloocan na ang hahawak. After ng meeting, isinama ako ni ate sa pagtingin ng mga ilaw na kailangan sa school na noon ay ginagawa pa lang. Nagsabi siya na asikasuhin ko na daw yung application sa TESDA, magpasa na daw ako ng letter. Nagtapat na ako sa kanya. Sabi ko, "ate, hindi ko pa po ata kaya na maging administrator. Parang masyado pa po akong bata. Baka hindi ako paniwalaan." Nakita ko na napatigil siya saglit at nagisip. Sinabi niya, "sige, ako muna ang administrator. Ang ilagay mo sa letter, deputy administrator ka." Parang nabunutan ako ng tinik dahil alam kong andiyan naman si ate. Pero parang hindi nabawasan yung kaba ko kasi alam kong halos ganun pa rin ang trabaho ko. Pero salamat pa rin sa Dios dahil ramdam ko ang pagsaklolo Niya sa panahong kailangan ko ng tulong Niya.

Dahil sa dami ng obligasyon at dapat harapin sa pagpapasimula ng school, kinakailangan ng mga makakasama. Isang araw ng pasalamat, kahit na nakikinig ako ng paksa, hindi ko pa rin maiwasan na maglaro sa isip ko kung sino ang mga taong makakatulong sa school. Lagi lang nasasabi ko na "Panginoon, bahala ka na po. Kailangan ko po ng makakasama. Di ko po kaya ito magisa". Nagtext ako sa mga kasama sa PNU. Salamat sa Dios, nagreply sina Bro. Meno (na nauna kong nakasama sa pagiinterview at nagbuhat ng 2 box ng application forms mula untv papuntang caloocan tapos papuntang paranaque dahil wala pang office ang la verdad nun), bro joms at iba pang mga kasama sa PNU. Nung break time naman nakita ko si Bro. Tykes. Tinanong ko siya kung may kilala siya na MassCom grad na gusto magturo sa La Verdad. Yun pala Masscom grad siya. Tapos kung pwede rin daw si Sis. Rissa. Maya maya lang, dumaan naman si Jeck. Saka ko naalala na nurse nga pala siya. Gusto rin daw niya magturo. Si Bro Pong naman na nasa Palawan, nagtext nun. May kilala daw ba ako sa La Verdad Apalit. Gusto niya daw kasi magturo. Nagannounce kasi si Sis Luz nun na hiring ang La Verdad Apalit. Sabi ko sa Caloocan na lang siya. Awa ng Dios, nagOK siya. Lunch break naman nung tinawagan ako ni bro albert kasi may mga nagsubmit pa raw ng resume. Dun ko naman nakita ang resume ni sis kat. Maging yung ibang mga kasama ngayon, karamihan sa kanila ay nakasalubong ko lang. Awa ng Dios, bago matapos ang araw na yun ay halos nakumpleto na yung line-up ng mg magtuturo sa La Verdad. Parang ang swabe lang lahat. Dumarating na lang yung mga taong kailangan para makumpleto yung mga kailangan na instructors. Nakakatuwa sobra. Salamat talaga sa Dios.

Naniniwala akong lubos na paggawa ng Dios lahat lahat ng mga bagay na iyon. Naramdaman ko na napaka smooth lahat ng bagay, kusa na lang silang dumarating sa panahong kailangan. Pero may mga pagkakataon rin na hindi ganun kadali, na kung minsan ay naiiyak na ako sa hirap na parang gusto ko na sumuko. Maging yung pagpili lang kung magreresign ako sa dati kong trabaho upang makapag focus sa La Verdad ay mahirap para sa akin na panganay at gustong makatulong sa magulang. Pero naalala ko, hindi naman tayo pababayaan ng Dios. At mas lalo kong napatunayan ang kabutihan ng Dios. Hindi Niya pinabayaan ang pamilya ko hanggang ngayon. Hindi rin naman tayo bibigyan ng hindi natin kaya. Sa mga panahong kailangan natin ng tulong, palaging nandiyan Siya. Salamat sa Dios dahil after one year, sa panahong nangangailangan na talaga ako ng tulong lalo na sa pagaapply sa TESDA at CHED ay timely naman ang pagdating ni Mam Johna.

Masarap sa pakiramdam yung pagkatapos ng ilang taon na pagtuturo, kahit na alam mong ikaw mismo sa sarili mo ay nangangailangan pa ring pag-aralan ang mga ituturo mo, ay makikita mo isang araw ang mga mag-aaral mo na nakasuot ng kanilang toga at magsisipagtapos. Masaya rin sa pakiramdam yung alam mong may mga kasama ka na nagsisikap rin na maturuan ang mga estudyante sa kabila ng kaunting taon lang naman ang agwat sa kanila. At higit sa lahat, bagama't hindi maiiwasan na mayroon talagang mga pagsubok, hirap ng kalooban, mas nakakahigit pa rin yung saya sa kalooban yung na sa kabila ng mga pagkakamaling nagawa ko noong nakaraan ay nabigyan pa rin ako ng pagkakataon na makabahagi sa gawain Niya at makatulong sa maliit na paraan sa ating mga mangangaral, kina Bro. Eli at Bro. Daniel. Sa lahat ng mga bagay na ito, wala na talaga akong ibang masasabi pa kundi salamat sa Dios. To God be the Glory!